ALONE IN THE AFTERMATH
For those whose relationships do NOT survive the impact of our partners’ sexual betrayal (including sex addiction, porn addiction, infidelity and/or other forms of problematic sexual behavior), certain recovery concepts—like grieving, healing, repairing and moving on—are VERY DIFFERENT than for those who remain together and heal within an evolving relationship.
In my work with clients across all different stages of relationship trauma and transition, I’ve often observed a significant (albeit unintentional) degree of situational disparity, an impending sense of marginalization experienced by partners who ultimately separate. Too often, the unique needs of this population have gone unnoticed, unacknowledged and unmet, simply due to lack of resources that highlight, honor and address these fundamental distinctions.
Confronted with this challenge, I knew I had two options: I could call game over, or I could call game on.
So I took a deep breath. I rolled up my sleeves.
And I vowed to become part of the solution.
The rest, as they say, is history.
Are YOU healing from separation or divorce in the aftermath of betrayal?
Or, are you a helping professional seeking to support your clients, community or congregation? If so, I invite you to explore the resources I’ve created exclusively for this demographic. As a veteran divorce coach with 10+ years of dedicated professional training, research, interviews and advocacy—including firsthand work with more than 300 divorced, divorcing and separated survivors of sexual betrayal—I’m humbled to provide an expansive collection of awareness, experience and expertise on this field of specialization.
Bottom line, I know there’s nothing worse than feeling “alone in the aftermath.” Starting now, I hope you feel a bit less alone.
UPCOMING OPPORTUNITIES
Signature 12-Week, Topic-Based Support Group:
AVENUE D: “ROAD TO DEBRIDEMENT”
NEW Cohorts beginning in June, July and August
- (C10) JUNE START = Tuesdays @ 11am–1pm ET (June 7–September 19)
- (C11) JULY START = Wednesdays @ 4pm-6pm ET (July 5–October18
- (C12) AUGUST START = Mondays @ 8pm-10pm ET (August 7–November 20)
Avenue D is a 4-month, topic-based support group, created to provide a safe, validating and strategic environment for female survivors of betrayal-related separation or divorce—including women who are divorced, divorcing or permanently separated from their sex addict partners or spouses. Unlike other programs that concurrently support ALL betrayal trauma survivors, regardless of their relationship status, this group will focus EXCLUSIVELY on the needs of divorced, divorcing or permanently separated women—the unique challenges involved in the process of dissolving an intimate partnership, combined with new aspects of living independently beyond that relationship with an unfaithful loved one. Avenue D is designed to supplement (not replace) primary treatment for women traumatized by their partners’ compulsive sexual behaviors. Participants are encouraged to pursue foundational support resources, like therapy, counseling, coaching, spiritual direction, mentoring, sponsorship, etc.
For more information, click HERE.
For a free consultation, click HERE.
To register, click HERE.
Ongoing, Open-Topic Support Group:
DreamGirls: Designing Our New Lives
Join Anytime via Zoom! (Tuesdays and Thursdays @ 1pm–2:30pm ET)
Welcome to my most flexible, affordable and accessible group for survivors of betrayal-related divorce! DreamGirls provides an open-ended and open-topic forum, for clients who are independently exploring their “new normal,” alone in the aftermath of relationships mortally wounded by sexual betrayal. DreamGirls provides twice-weekly coaching sessions via Zoom, facilitated by veteran divorce coach Rae Gaelyn Emerson. DreamGirls seeks to help women move toward post-traumatic growth, resolving their trauma through active and progressive “reconnection,” inspiring them to rediscover, reclaim and reorient themselves—all within the context of other women who are doing it, too. Clients can join DreamGirls at any point, on a month-to-month basis (no long-term commitment required.) Best of all? For clients who cannot afford the full group fee, DreamGirls invites participants to join on a “pay what you can” basis.
For more information, click HERE.
For a free consultation, click HERE.
To register, click HERE.
NEW 3-6 Month Topic-Based Support Group:
BELLA: Brave Enough to Live and Love Again
First and Third Wednesday each month, June–November 2023 @ 6pm ET
Let’s face it: it takes a special kind of courage to brave new love after sexual and relationship betrayal. BELLA is a twice-monthly online coaching group, designed to support women in ALL stages of movement toward future romance. Together, we co-create a profoundly consent-based environment, one that’s (a) autonomous, (b) empowering and (c) tenderly growth oriented. Each participant sets her own goals related to sex, dating and new relationships, with affirmation and accountability for taking meaningful steps toward those goals.
Summer Schedule = June 7, June 21, July 5, July 19, August 2, August 16.
Autumn Schedule = September 6, September 20, October 4. October 18, November 1 and November 15.
Cost = $500 for 5 bi-weekly sessions.
Got questions? Click HERE.
For a free consultation, click HERE.
To register, click HERE.
Six-Month, Topic-Based Support Group:
REDISCOVERING ME: “WHO AM I BEYOND MY TRAUMA?”
Every Wednesday, June 7–November 15, 2023 @ 2pm ET
Rediscovering Me is a six month support group for female survivors of relational trauma: abandonment, abuse, addiction, betrayal, deception, divorce, infidelity and more. Utilizing material written by author, educator and advocate for Holding Space, Heather Plett from the Centre for Holding Space, this is my FIFTH cohort for this very unique support group, presented in collaboration with my friend and colleague, Esther Elmer.
Begins: June 1, 2023.
Registration closes: May 31, 2023 (or when we reach max capacity)
Live Sessions via Zoom: Wednesdays @ 2pm ET.
Cost: $900 total ($125 per month); limited scholarship is available.
Printable flyer here.
Register online here.
Email me here.
Questions? Schedule a free consultation here.
Live, In-Person, Divorce-Support Weekend:
La Loba: The Woman Who Knows
Intensive Weekend for Female Survivors of Betrayal-Related Separation and Divorce*
September 22–24, 2023 in Smithsfield, Utah
LA LOBA: THE WOMAN WHO KNOWS is an intensive weekend of grieving, growing, healing and hope. It’s designed to help you move forward through the trauma of sexual betrayal, supported by others each step of the way: (1) You’ll bravely identify some beloved things you have lost—casualties of addiction, abuse and/or abandonment. (2) You’ll pick up the broken fragments of those tragic losses, letting yourself “feel the feels” that accompany such acts of remembrance and mourning. (3) You’ll discover something beautiful that rises up to fill the void of what’s been forsaken. (4) You’ll take some newly empowered steps forward, moving yourself toward peace, resolution and self-restoration.
For more information and to register, click here.
Got a quick question? Email me here.
Need lots more info? To schedule a free consultation, click here.
*Please note: Unlike most of our La Loba retreats (open to all women, regardless of relationship status), this particular weekend is offered EXCLUSIVELY for women whose relationships do not survive. For other weekend dates, please check here.
Free Speaker Series from AVAYIA University:
Interview Title: “Brave Enough to be Safe, Safe Enough to be Brave”
Professional Development Presentation:
Title: “Alone in the Aftermath: Using the MPTM with Survivors of Betrayal-Related Divorce”
Private Peer-Support via Facebook:
Not-So “Alone in the Aftermath”
Register online here.
MORE RESOURCES:
Not-So Alone in the Aftermath | Secret Facebook Group
Admission by invitation/application only. Click here to request membership.
AUDIO INTERVIEWS:
Divorce with Dignity | Podcast Interview with Kristin Cary
Living Truth Podcast from LivingTruth.org
Click here to listen—Part One.
Click here to listen—Part Two.
My “Big Sexy Comeback” Story | Podcast Interview with Jenni Rochelle
Beauty After Betrayal, August 2021. Click here to listen.
Creating a New Happily Ever After | Podcast Interview with Anna Osborn
Her Life Unscripted, August 2019. Click here to listen.
Feeling and Healing from Abandonment | Podcast Interview with Geoff Steurer
Illuminate Podcast, April 2020. Click here to listen.
Feeling and Healing from Sexual Rejection | Summit Interview with Jordann Alyce
Ready to Rise: Triumph Over Trauma, February 2020. Click here to listen.
What Happens If I Need to Leave? | Radio Interview with Carol Sheets
APSATS Betrayal Recovery Radio, February 2018. Click here to listen.
Divorce Support for Partners of Sex Addicts | Radio Interview with Carol Sheets
Sex Help with Carol the Coach, October 2016. Click here to listen.
PROFESSIONAL PRESENTATIONS:
Alone in the Aftermath | Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
SASH Conference, September 2016. Click here to listen.
From Separation to Sexploration: Navigating the Liminal Landscape of Post-Divorce Sex | Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health
SASH Conference, October 2020. Click here to listen.
BLOG POSTS:
- Five Years Later: Remembering the Night My Marriage Died
- From This Day Forward: Vows to Me, Myself and I
SURVEY:
Having sex (or not) after separation or divorce? Either way, I want to hear about it!