I’m a writer at heart—period.
Writing is my happy place! My sweet spot! My comfort zone! I’ve come to call writing my “native language,” the means by which I embrace and express my most authentic, internal self.
My two favorite quotes about writing come from Ernest Hemmingway. The first quote is easy, eloquent and altogether true : “A writer must write what he has to say, not speak it.” The second quote is harder, but equally honest: “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit at a typewriter and bleed.”
Most of the time, I write for myself. But much of the time, I also write on behalf of those who HAVE deep things to say, but who don’t (for one reason or another) actually say them.
For all of those others—my fellow human beings, who experience life with the same surge of intensity and inspiration—this blog is dedicated to YOU.
Here’s another great Hemingway quote: “As a writer, you should not judge, you should understand.” As a writer, I write about things that are important to me, first and foremost. But as a blogger, I also want my writing to serve, support and inspire those who read it. So I’d love to know: What topics do YOU want to read about? What issues do you think are important-yet-overlooked, urgent-yet-unaddressed? Send me an email (crystalmor@mac.com) and let’s get a conversation started!
Blog
RIP, Women Ever After!
Dearly Beloved, Once upon a time, I named my business Women Ever After. At that point in my life, I celebrated womanhood as my nearest and dearest happy place. I focused on women’s issues. I[...]
Five Years Later: Remembering the Night My Marriage Died
March 16, 2022 Five years. It strikes me as a seemingly odd measure of time. Five trips around the sun. Twenty transitions between calendar seasons. Sixty cycles of the moon, spanning each of her glorious[...]
From This Day Forward: Vows to Me, Myself and I
For the last three years, I’ve celebrated December 30 (my former wedding anniversary) as the date upon which I bring new expressions of self-love into my life. For this year’s commemoration, I’m writing a set[...]
On That Day
On this date last year, life completely SHATTERED for one of my youngest coaching clients. (In the betrayal trauma world, we often call this anniversary “D Day,” referencing the date someone discovers her partner’s infidelity,[...]
Be Still and Know? Dear God, You Must Be Joking.
Be still and know? Seriously God? Do you know what you’re asking? DON’T YOU SENSE THIS, GOD? That right now, I’m crawling out of my skin? This skin, by the way, that YOU put me in?[...]
How Can I Prepare for My Husband’s Next Porn Relapse
Once upon a time, I was blissfully happy. No, my life wasn’t perfect or easy. Instead, it was real. Messy, but meaningful. I lived and worked passionately within the world of pornography addiction and betrayal trauma recovery, with a job I[...]
Partner or Porn Police? Six Messages of Encouragement
Preface: This article focuses on the experience lived by partners of sex and pornography addicts. However, if you’re a porn user yourself, I warmly invite you to keep reading! If your partner is able and willing to[...]
Five Stages of Abandonment Grief: Healing for Survivors of Sexual Betrayal
Have you ever wondered why sexual betrayal feels keenly similar—yet remarkably different—to losing a loved one who’s physically died? In my work with women healing from sexual betrayal, I’ve identified two words that completely reframe[...]
Evidence of the Invisible
Last Thursday was Babysitting Day. My husband and I woke up early, hopped in the car, braved morning traffic, and arrived in time for breakfast with two of our favorite family kiddos. The way I[...]
Of Weeds and Warfare
Historically… I hate gardening. Growing up in the midwest, my mother spent hours planning and planting beautiful gardens around our home. She solicited my brother’s help for weeding, trimming and watering. My dad helped with[...]
A for Addiction: The Scarlet Sisterhood
Addiction is a disease. End of discussion… right? As practitioners within the field of behavioral health and wholeness, we’ve all heard the message, loud and clear. Many of us subscribe to the concept without question, confident in our convictions that[...]
Gratitude: Give Me a Break
You know those times when life just gets heavy? When you’ve absorbed yourself SO deeply into something SO significant, you lose track of time and space and any responsible sense (gulp) of basic self-care? When[...]
Trauma Speaks. Healing Talks Back.
In this blog post, I’m going to share an intimate experience from my past, a story about one form of language trauma I experienced at the end of my first marriage. I’ve never put this[...]
Life Language
In my mid-twenties, I spent two years living and working in Jerusalem, Israel. My Hebrew language skills were conversant at best—good enough to order coffee, take a taxi or ask directions. I worked in an[...]
No More Human Sponge
And she did. Once upon a time, I went through a period of extreme emotional unpredictability. I’d cry uncontrollably, unexpectedly and inconveniently, all at the drop of a hat. My therapist explained that I was[...]
The Question That Changed Everything
FROM “MY NEEDS? WHAT NEEDS?” (PART 1 OF 3) Nine years ago, when my husband walked into his first SA meeting (Sexaholics Anonymous; sa dot org), I knew exactly what HE needed. I knew he[...]
Let it Begin with Me: Ten Takeaways from My First Meeting
FROM “MY NEEDS? WHAT NEEDS?” (PART 2 of 3) When I walked into my first Twelve Step meeting, I felt like a hollowed-out version of Wonder Woman. On the outside, I was taking on the[...]
Back to Me, Myself and I
FROM “MY NEEDS? WHAT NEEDS?” (PART 3 OF 3) Toward the beginning of my recovery, I encountered AA’s Seventh Tradition, the one that suggests that Twelve Step groups be “fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.” I[...]
PROJECT NAME CHANGE is now legally underway!
38 years ago, my parents named me Crystal Rae Nelson. It’s a designation I’ve changed three times in the past two decades, each time inspired by a shift in my marital status. This year, as[...]