Healing Talks Back

DON’T MISS: NEW Trauma-Savvy Mentor Coaching Cohorts begin in October 2024! Click here for more information.

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Helping You Help Others

Within a field like this one, it’s pretty impossible to truly “know it all.” I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit “I DON’T know everything about anything.”

Because of that, I do the next best thing: I lean into the learning curves as deeply as I can, networking with some of the best, most progressive and most exceptional colleagues within our spheres of professional orbit.

Funny thing is? The more I deepen and broaden my professional repertoire, the more I encounter colleagues who are reaching out to learn from ME, too.

Which Tool for What Job?

Remember those “multi-purpose” utensils, those “many-in-one” gadgets that conquer any number of tasks, depending upon which need presents itself in the moment? My training and experience equips me with a similar combination of flexibility and practicality, a multi-modality repertoire that qualifies me to support professional colleagues in several specific (yet often overlapping) categories:

  • Personal Coaching
  • Case or Topic Consultation
  • Mentor Coaching
  • Coaching Supervision
  • APSATS Consultation Supervision

On this page, I detail a few key features unique to each modality, along with the training, certification and/or authorization to provide this service for other practitioners. If you’re not sure which (or any) might meet your need, please reach out and inquire! I’ll probably ask a few additional questions, then honestly address the question of how (or if) I can provide what you need.

Whatever the substance and scope of our professional relationship, I offer you the same guarantee I give my non-colleague clients: if you’re not satisfied after your first paid session with me, I will happily refund you the cost of my fees paid to date. I also maintain my commitment to be honest with you about what I do and don’t know; if my qualifications do not ethically and effectively position me to help you, I consider it my responsibility to communicate that proactively and conservatively.

Personal Coaching

Sometimes, even professional people-helpers need to seek professional help. If you’re a colleague facing new or recurring personal challenges, my door is ALWAYS open to you. I promise to provide a warm and caring space to explore your situation, with empathy and consideration for the ways your personal and professional experiences may intersect.

Case Consultation or Topic Consultation

Sometimes consultation is a “one and done” dynamic, a powerful conversation that quickly resolves some oddly-nuanced layer of a case that’s otherwise comfortably well-in-hand. Other times, consultation is a series of evolving conversations, helping colleagues to improve their acuity when navigating tricky topics, circumstances or complications. Occasionally, I’m honored to provide long-term consultation, the kind that empowers colleagues to feel supported across periods of months or years, often while advancing their own professional credentials or expanding their growing repertoire of specializations.

Mentor Coaching

If you hang around coaches long enough, you’ll likely hear one of us say, “All great coaches have great coaches!” Not only is that a lovely turn of phrase, it’s also a time-honored principle undergirding ethical practice for professional coaches.

Mentor Coaching is a skills-based practice, one that generally includes “coaching and feedback in a collaborative, appreciative and dialogued process, based on an observed or recorded coaching session.” Mentor Coaching is an optional investment for coaches at any point in their vocational development, but it’s also a required component for all three levels of certification through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). As for me, I’m a formally trained and Certified Mentor Coach (CMC), and I’ve been registered as an ICF Mentor Coach since 2020. My newest endeavor is Trauma-Savvy Mentor Coaching, an intensive small-group experience designed for coaches seeking to work within a uniquely trauma-focused context.

Coaching Supervision

In contrast to the skills-based nature of mentor coaching, Coaching Supervision is a newer, separate and fast-advancing field of practice; it’s the coaching modality that most closely parallels clinical supervision, designed to support coaches through challenges that arise from an evolving professional caseload. According to the ICF, “Coaching Supervision focuses on… a richer and broader opportunity… a safe environment for [coaches] to share their successes and failures in becoming masterful in the way they work with their clients.”With strategic focus applied in multiple directions—including three primary functions, six styles of intervention and seven systemic lenses (and that’s just for starters!)—coaching supervision is often characterized as “super vision,” securing far more insight and awareness than individuals can gain from their internal, first-person perspective. Coaching Supervision is an optional investment for coaches at any point in their vocational development, and can be applied toward renewal requirements for two levels of certification (PCC and MCC) through the International Coaching Federation (ICF). As for me, I’m a formally trained coaching supervisor, educated through the prestigious International Centre for Coaching Supervision (ICCS), a triple-accredited institution founded by Nick Bolton of Animas Centre for Coaching. I’ve completed seven long months of interactive training sessions, on track to submit my final qualifying coursework by the end of 2024.

APSATS Consultation Supervision

In early 2023, I was privileged to join the ranks of APSATS Consultation Supervisors, a global team of coaches and therapists who provide candidate support for The Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS). Within this capacity, I consult with specialists trained in APSATS’ Multidimensional Partner Trauma Model (MPTM), providing a required component for coaches and therapists who seek certification through the organization. During this process, we explore how candidates can utilize the MPTM within their own client cases. After nearly a decade of work as an APSATS practitioner, it’s a tremendous honor to continue growing this passionate organization “behind the scenes,” contributing to future generations of partner trauma specialists.

More info about APSATS Consultation Supervision

More info about Rae’s APSATS Consultation Supervision Groups.

Topics of Expertise (below)

For newly-trained or newly-transitioning life coaches, entering the high-stakes arena of betrayal, addiction, trauma and sexual health, I’m gonna be blunt: it takes a lot of time, training and application to anchor our proficiency and professional repertoire. After 20 years of personal experience, 13 years of personal healing, 10 years of client coaching and nearly 1000 hours of specialized training, mentor coaching and case consultation—I STILL feel like I’m barely scratching the surface of what it takes to do my job well.

The truth is, this isn’t a field wherein practitioners can simply “fake it ‘til we make it.” Because of that reality, we owe it to ourselves, our clients and world to take our professional development seriously. If you’re planning to grow into work within the BATS community, consider investing some time, money and energy into consultation with me; you deserve the assurance of knowing that whatever new situations you encounter with your BATS client cases, I’m here to help you with resources and reinforcement.

Supporting clients through separation and divorce is about SO MUCH MORE than lawyers and mediators—especially when it’s precipitated by sexual and relational betrayal. As an “equal-yet-opposite” counterpart to the complexities of couples work, divorce support requires a mature and nuanced skillset, one that (a) avoids even inadvertent projections or presumptions of failure, and (b) facilitates the forward-facing momentum necessary to help clients rebuild a shattered existence from the inside out.

As a credentialed divorce recovery coach since 2014, I’ve companioned literally hundreds of divorced, divorcing and/or permanently separated survivors of sexual betrayal. Along the way, I’ve picked up a passion for this poignantly underserved demographic—along with a whole lot of “whatever you do, don’t (fill in the blank)” bits of insight and expertise. Perhaps you need a second opinion on one tough case, or maybe you’re considering a sub-specialty in the bigger picture of divorce-related work. Either way, please look me up and let’s chat about it! I’ll ask and answer some key questions, pointing you in a supportive and productive direction. Bonus: If you haven’t yet done so, please navigate over to my page, Alone in the Aftermath. At the bottom, you’ll find links to some of my favorite betrayal-related divorce support resources.

In addition to one-on-one consultation, I’m grateful to offer occasional trainings about betrayal-related divorce for professional colleagues.

Betrayal-Related Grief (TM) is a complex form of traumatic loss, impacting ALL parties (not just the betrayed individual) in profound, compound and confounding ways. Equipped with extensive training from experts Dr. Alan Wolfelt (centerforloss.com), Susan Anderson (abandonment.net) and Heather Plett (heatherplett.com), I seek to help colleagues deepen your grasp on the vastly different types of grief your clients may be facing in response to relational trauma—especially at specific junctures when they (and perhaps you) feel decidedly “stuck.” From little known constructs for loss-and-grief literacy to underused applications, interventions and a fresh new vocabulary, I‘m eager to empower you with next-level tools that reach beyond the bedrock provided by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in her classic work, “On Death and Dying.” In addition to one-on-one consultation, I’m grateful to offer occasional trainings about betrayal-related grief for professional colleagues.

Working with individual clients is one thing; working with multiple clients is a very different (and exponentially challenging) thing. From flooded participants to facilitator faux pas, professionals can be unexpectedly underprepared for the challenges involved in creating and maintaining a support group. As you bring your support group ideas, hopes and fears to the table, I’ll welcome you with my conviction that, when it comes to something as complex as support group dynamics, there are NO stupid questions!

Here’s a partial list of specialty topics for which I commonly provide individual, dyadic and small-group mentor coaching, consultation and supervision:

  • Betrayal, Addiction, Trauma and Sexual Health (BATS)
  • Betrayal-Related Divorce Support
  • Betrayal-Related Loss, Grief and Mourning
  • Coaching as a Career? Options, Obstacles and Opportunities
  • Core Competencies for Life Coaches (Basic) and Specialty Coaches (Advanced)
  • Couples Coaching Considerations: You, Me and We
  • Group Development, Dynamics and Dilemmas
  • Mentor Coaching toward ICF Credentialing (ACC or PCC level)
  • Relational Trauma (Abandonment, Abuse, Addiction, Betrayal, Deception, Divorce, Infidelity and more)
  • Retreat, Conference and Event Planning
  • Self-Care Support for Helping Professionals
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