Healing Talks Back

On That Day

On this date last year, life completely SHATTERED for one of my youngest coaching clients. (In the betrayal trauma world, we often call this anniversary “D Day,” referencing the date someone discovers her partner’s infidelity, online secrets and/or sex addiction.)

In the past 9 years, I’ve supported many women through their “D Day” anniversaries. And while I obviously recognize them as the onset of an unspeakable pain, I also recognize them as the impetus of an incomparable strength, resilience, and authenticity.

I wrote these words last night in honor of this beautiful young woman:


On that day, you were abandoned by your significant other. That same day, you began to show up for your significant self.

On that day, your world fell apart. That same day, you bravely began to put the pieces back together.

On that day, your heart was shattered into a million, miserable pieces. That same day, your soul began repairing itself into one indestructible whole.

On that day, you felt consumed by shock, trauma, fear and grief. That same day, you learned exactly how impossible you are to consume.

On that day, you felt stupid and foolish for not knowing. That same day, you were smart enough to exchange blind trust for wisdom and intuition.

On that day, you felt utterly unloved and unwanted. That same day, you loved yourself enough to want something more.

On that day, you were rejected by your beloved partner. That same day, you rejected the idea that love should die alongside your marriage.

On that day, you honestly thought the pain might kill you. That same day, you began to see how truly death-defying your eternal spirit actually is.

On that day, you disavowed your girlish belief in fantasy and fairy tales. That same day, you began writing your powerful tale of womanly triumph.

On that day, his actions left you absolutely speechless. That same day, you found the words and will to whisper, “I still have something beautiful to say.”

On that day, you felt weak and worthless as a woman. That same day, you proved that strength and worthiness and womanhood go hand-in-hand; they’re a killer combination, one that no man (or his mistress) can ever strip away from you.

On that day, someone you loved betrayed your deepest knowledge and trust. That same day, you began to trust the God who knows no betrayal.

On that day, love was ripped from your horrified, trembling fingers. That same day, you joined hands with the God who created an eternal form of love—one that can never, ever, ever be taken away.

Written for “Bella”

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For more writings by Gaelyn Rae Emerson, click here or email gaelynrae@womeneverafter.com.

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